• A. Biggs

Don't hire the "Friendor"

Often I hear, weddings are soooo expensive...photographers are making bank on us...the dj is not worth $1000's...thus couples resort to the "Friendor".

So what exactly is the "Friendor"? It's a friend that becomes a vendor for your wedding.

For Example: That girlfriend from high school that has picked up photography as a hobby and wants to use your wedding as a practice or portfolio builder. It's that buddy of your future hubby's that has recently started some song mixing in his basement. Or the cousin who has decided instead of Belly Wraps and Fragrant Oils, she is going to go in the direction of a home baking company.

While they may be perfectly capable and actually pretty good...still don't. Hiring a "Friendor" is an equation for friendships ending and family tensions.

So many times in my work as a coordinator do I see couples hire their friend to save a buck, or help a starting business. Don't get me wrong, I am all for helping small local businesses. Without the help our business has received we wouldn't be in the profit position we are in today. However, there are TONS of other ways to support your friend's businesses without booking them for your big day.


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9 times outta 10 when the couple hires a "Friendor" there is no contract formed up and signed! They are going off of informal trust...maybe for my kid's birthday pictures or graduation party...but NOT my wedding. Your friend wants to start a business, in all reality the first thing they hand you should be a formal contract, if they want to be fully taken seriously by clients.

All of your vendors should have a contract!

However, this typically do not happen and the couple is left with a vendor that is half vendor half guest, which is really really hard to be. If I have a friend that wants to book the business for their wedding, I always pass it off to another coordinator on the team. It is so hard to have fun, enjoy myself, relax, and watch a really special moment in my friend's life...while working.

Also, the "Friendor" is more likely to slack off. As I mentioned above, as a guest I want to enjoy the food, cocktails, and fun, and I would be more likely to talk to my friend's and family than to do my hired work. Everyone always has "FUN" in the back of their minds.

Don't let friends test their business on your Wedding!

I have coordinated a few weddings where the "Friendor" is the vendor, none of them have ended well. Between no contract and trying to hold onto that friendship and be courteous to the friend, someone goes home unhappy. Sometimes its the couple who is upset in the quality of work presented to them, but usually its the "Friendor." What seems to go done is the couple is upset with the "Friendor's" work, there is no contract to back anyone's words up, so it's one story versus another, the BRIDEZILLA comes out and BAM friendship tension. As a coordinating business we try so hard to STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING, but with a "Friendor" there is a fine line between reprimanding a vendor and being kind to an unruly guest. We are caught between a rock and a hard place trying to do what's best for the day overall!

Hire a non-affiliated third party as a wedding vendor.

In the end, we HIGHLY recommend hiring non-affiliated third party entities to work your wedding. It's better to save the money and push off the wedding than to plan quickly and cheaply. You get this day ONCE (or we hope once) and we want everything to be perfect and STRESS FREE. "Friendor's" are the number stress cause for our Brides and coordinators are hired to babysit and follow up on them instead of being hired to manage the timeline and focus on the Bride's needs. So please, do your research and find a Professional Wedding Industry Vendor, there are TONS, for all budgets! Click Here to see our recommended vendor list.

-A. Biggs


Every Last Detail Weddings

(219) 577-7656

10623 Cline Ave Crown Point IN 46307

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